It is hard to get much things going when you have no idea when exactly it would be interrupted. I call this the “Transition Time.” A time you can’t really have a plan but you can do your best to make it a good one.
What do I do with a time like this? I try to use it to expand myself. In another word, to learn new things, to develop new skills, or to sharpen my current skills with actual proof (certification and stuff). Therefore, I started taking a Spanish class, intern at a climbing gym to gain access to class and knowledge of the Taiwan climbing community. I read as much as I can and started contacting graduate school for information about their program.
I miss my friends, certainly, and I miss her, especially. It is hope that keeps me going and stay focus while doing all these. Time might not be on my side but I will take control of my destiny as much as I can.
It’s been several times I have witness this act in the hospital and I am personally very touched. I would like to think of it as an act of true love and every time as I witness it, I want to cry (I feel that I want to cry a lot in the past month…)
What is it? I think you are all very curious at this point. An old man singing to his wife who couldn’t even respond to him. They are both at least at the age of 85 above. He would just hold her hand and sing to her. I think she could hear it but I am not even sure. The point is, he doesn’t care if she could or couldn’t. I bet it is her favorite song… He is always there every time when I go visit my grandma. He still cares so much and loves her. I can’t really use words to describe how moved I am but only hope that I would do the same for my not-yet-existed wife in the future. If what he does is not an act of unconditional love, I don’t know what is.
Something is bugging me but it might be just my imagination or over-thinking… knowing the old me, it could very possibly be just all in my head. In case it is not, here is what I have to say about the occurrence. If you don’t want to talk to me, that’s fine, you can just tell me. I will respect that and won’t ever bug you anymore. I don’t think being treated this way is what I deserve but that’s just a part of life. I will live with it and I apologize for whatever I might have done to lead our friendship to this point. Would love to know what happened but I guess I will never know and I am ok with that. I think I got your point now…
I came to the conclusion that I do not enjoy being in the hospital. There are simply too many sorrow in there and it breaks my heart to hear but not able to offer any help.
As much as I love my grandma, being there hurts me more than anything. I think she is suffering and knowing the fact that she is probably not going to make it out of the hospital makes me real upset.
The questions that I had before I am here are slowly being answered. Most likely I will be enlisted and start my duty mid September or beginning of Oct which would be great. That means I am out of it around the same time next year.
Next steps and current actions? Since I have the timeline now, this is what I am thinking. Right now, I will attempt to get a job and work until I am in the military, make and save some money for the future. Well, during the military I should spend time study GRE and Spanish. Why? I might take the GRE again, not sure if I will. After the service, most likely I will either spend the remaining time until I find my way back to US working or going to Panama. My aunt and I was talking the other morning. I can go live with them and work for them there. While doing that, learn Spanish and apply school/jobs in the US. Pretty sweet gig, I must say. I will definitely consider that option!
I have become a lot more emotional these days but I have not yet drop a tear, until today. I was sitting at the airport, waiting to board my flight to Chicago. As I was reading the notes Kaitlyn and Jake gave me at the airport, I started crying. Just tears running down my face although I didn’t make a sound. I didn’t think making a scene in the airport was such a good idea.
It was a sad moment as the reality came to me and how much I am going to miss the people and the place. I watched seven movies in the plane because my seat was in the middle and people on my both sides and front are relatively inconsiderate. That bugged me a little but I got over it quick, just made the best out of it.
My favorite quote was “a place is only as good as the people you know in it.” I loved it and it speaks for itself. The flight home was not as smooth as a lot of my other travel. My flight ticket had some problem, I was stopped for a while in Tokyo checkpoint because my SwissCard’s letter opener knife, those people sat around me. Oh well, at least I made it home and it is about time to start the next journey.