Live, Love, Laugh

Archive for September, 2009

Words that I Can’t Just Say

I didn’t make any promise this time that I would wait because it was a mistake last time. As much as I want to, it would be too much to do it to myself.

Reasons to why? The words I didn’t want to say to create more pressure… Here they are: I think you are beautiful, especially when you smile. You lighten up the mood with your positive energy. Caring is in your nature and you put that into actions. You don’t let little things bother you and you have a great heart. These are some of the reasons why I really like you.

So the question now is… should I move on? Maybe it’s time… I helped out some girl today when I was in the office. The other guy there said that I should have gotten her number. I said no, it’s fine. I guess I am not in the mood yet.

W.


Deserve

I guess there isn’t a rule of who deserve what in this world. As clear as we could see that it is not at all a fair world. Nevertheless, I feel that it is our responsibility to make things more fair so other less fortunate could have a chance. Destiny? In my opinion, it probably exists in some way, but we need to fight it and make the best out of it.

Sometimes I feel that I am just not good enough… for many different things. It does not matter how well I perform in whatever thing. I just have that fear. I think it has a lot to do with the things I have experienced in the past and I am not confident enough with myself. Quite honestly, I think I should be more confident with myself because the things I can do. No idea why I am not. Maybe it is something I should work on… I guess this goes back to the big education question. Nature or Nurture?

Wind


Scary things in Life

I think one of the most scary things in life for me would be not being about to do anything to alter situation. I put myself out there tonight and told her how I felt. It was hard and for sure I did a bad job doing it. I didn’t get a definite answer which is fine with me because I know it’s not an easy decision to make. I am feeling really tired now because it really took a lot out of me to do it.

That is life, as I have written before… Once again I make myself vulnerable and hope for the best. You never know unless you try. We can’t decide for the others but we can dream big and do our best to make it happen. Would my story have a happy ending this time, I don’t know but at least I won’t regret it as something I didn’t do.

Just for you fortunate people out there. Hold on to them while you can. It’s a gift and don’t take it for granted.

W.


I Hate Myself… Tonight…

I had to do something I did not like tonight and I hated myself for it. I am honestly in a shitty mood. For so many different reasons. I am wondering if I am doing the right thing for me. This is costing me so much pain and conflict with myself.

Good intention is taken as bad. Not having enough time for myself. Comply to rules that I don’t think it’s really that big a deal.

Why does people take life so seriously? Why puts up these fake images of one-self. I finally understood how she had to go through last year doing it. It’s all or nothing, there is no in between.

Friendship or Money? Bread of Love? It’s has always been an easy choice for me. Friendship over money, and love over bread. I feel lately I have not been making the same choices as I thought I would and did.

Nevertheless, I will give it a little more time. I don’t want to give up what good I can do. I need to find the balance and find it fast.

W.