Live, Love, Laugh

Archive for March, 2009

Lose

I feel like I lost a close friend… for whatever reasons I don’t really know. I don’t know what has change now and then… but things are so different. "The reality is that reality changes." I told the person that I will still be there if she ever need. I think she just wants her space. I guess that’s wish granted.

At this point, there is nothing I can do, except accepting the fact and live on.

W.


It’s All About..

Why did I feel aloft after class? Here is a continuation from the last entry. One thing last night’s class made me realize is that it is really all about how we want to see things.

If we have presumption about a certain thing and that’s how we will most likely see it. Things are all so up to interpretations unless we really willing to explore that alternative. I guess that’s why it’s called "managing our biases." It is when we are free from always looking through our own lens we are able to discover more.

I think this applies so much in life. Like the saying "glass half full or glass half empty." It’s in our mind how that works. I guess that is the reason why I was positive yesterday even though I was sick. Because I know I have a choice to be positive or negative and we often always do.

W.


Myself

I don’t know why and how… I feel like I found myself again… The positive person that I am. It feels great even though I am sick. I need to make things right.

I had a good night class today. It also made me realize a lot of things and I feel a lot more aloft about things in life. The sore throat did not even bother me. Nevertheless, I still need to get some rest so I can recover from this.

W.


The problem is…

I just finishing writing a paper for class and I realized something important about myself while I am writing it.

I realized that I expect others to treat me the way I treat them and hold the same standards that I hold myself to, especially to the ones that I trust and close to. Of course, that causes problem… in so many different ways. Although general I accept people for who they are and for those I know better that I shouldn’t and wouldn’t have that expectations then in that case, I most likely not going to be around them all that often.

It really sounds very confusing… Basically, I treat those close to me the way I wish to be treated which I realized is unrealistic and problematic because they are not me to start with. We all have our personal limitation and way of living life and I guess because I wish the best for them hence I have those expectations for them. Anyway… something to work on I guess.

W.


Weary

I really don’t know how to even start this blog… I am not even sure what I am feeling now. I guess maybe discourage would be one of it, maybe weary. *sight* It really does feel like the whole thing turning into a fight is all my fault from the way she told me. Maybe it is… And all I do these days is disappoint or make her angry.

I remember that she told me she want to do it and wanted me to support her on that last semester. Maybe it’s just me making up these memories. Maybe it is just life, things change and I wasn’t aware of it. Anyway, I will just drop it. I don’t want to argue and feel even worse about whatever I have done.

I will shut up now so I don’t bother her no more and live life as it goes…

W.


Do Nothing…

Some people like to say that they do nothing because when they do nothing, they commit no fault. Well, I usually don’t like this saying because it is very passive and nothing ever going to happen.

However, I don’t exactly know what to do at this point to be supportive to a friend. Feels like whatever I do would be wrong. So I guess I will do nothing this time and not to bother her. Even if I don’t like it because I care… *sight* I just hope I will not get to the point that I don’t care anymore.

W.


Smile

"A Smile Goes a Long Way…" A phrase we probably have all heard before. I experienced it myself today… A random stranger smile at me and it uplifted my mood, brought a smile to my face. I am thankful to her… and I carry that smile.

Summer vacation is coming soon… I started to plan it now… Florida offers still stands, training program in Chicago, and San Francisco before heading home. East coast is out of the picture for now… need to hit those places at once with a car or something. I have decided that I will invest in a car next semester. Or something, I need a car to do road trip… It’s a dream of mine.

Anyway, slowly need to put these plans together and book those tickets. Just have to make the best out of it…

W.