Live, Love, Laugh

Archive for June, 2005


Some More

Solar Return calculated for 2005

 Section 1: The Sun In The Solar Return Chart

Sun Aspects Pluto

        The nature of a planet aspecting the Sun in the solar return chart and the aspect between them color the interpretation of both planets. Pluto aspects to the Sun (which usually last for a number of consecutive years) indicate an increased awareness of power. Awareness can come through conflicts and struggle with yourself or others, but it is the awareness that is most significant. How people get, maintain and use power for personal goals or for the control of others is more important than the struggle itself. It is the awareness which gives you a greater ability to control your own life. Power usage in confrontations and everyday situations will become more obvious, but even subtle shifts in power will be evident to you as you learn to recognize psychological motivations and manipulations. For some individuals this is a time to study psychology; however, many will notice examples of obsessive, compulsive, phobic, or manipulative behaviors in themselves or others regardless of their educational background. Unconscious needs are intensified and life becomes more complicated. Ambition and self-control are the more positive manifestations. Learning to deal with life on a deeper level is the hallmark of the Plutonian consciousness.

 Section 2: Mercury In The Solar Return Chart

Mercury Aspects Uranus

        Uranus-Mercury aspects suggest that you are open to new ideas which may take the form of new information you are learning or new concepts you are developing yourself. These aspects can show great creativity since they imply that the individual is able to approach problems from many different angles and is not locked into one structured way of thinking. Use this time to be innovative and original. Brainstorm with others. But, because your mind is somewhat unstructured, your ability to think clearly may be interrupted by erratic impulses and an inability to concentrate over any length of time. New information may be more exciting than reorganizing what you already know. If you must work on a major project that requires sustained mental energy, take frequent breaks.

Mercury Aspects Jupiter

        While Saturn-Mercury aspects are associated with pessimism, Jupiter, on the other hand, can imply optimism, and confidence. You may look forward to the future with great enthusiasm. But what you believe to be possible may differ from your actual experience. Optimism can lead to miscalculations and poor decisions if you overestimate your chances for success or underestimate the amount of time you will require to complete a task. Overscheduling is directly related to this inability to foresee possible future difficulties. You might assume that tasks are quite simple, when in fact they are very difficult. You may not be able to honor deadlines and promises you have made if they are unrealistic. The tendency is to overwhelm yourself with too many tasks or projects, too many details to remember. Stress results from these miscalculations.

Mercury Aspects Venus

        When Mercury is conjunct Venus in the solar return chart, you are more apt to have confidence in your decisions and intellectual capabilities. This is a wonderful time to be in school or to take a course since learning is likely to be an enjoyable experience. You may also make great progress in what most people consider to be a difficult topic or a subject you have had particular trouble with in the past. Facts can be easier to comprehend during this time and the information you receive should be applicable to your present needs or skills.


Something Random Thing that Suppose to Descript Me… What Do You Think?




 Section 1: How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others
    You appear gentle and soft, and you act rather reserved with others until you know them well and feel it is safe to be open with them. You have a strong need for emotional security and a sense of belonging, and are deeply attached to the past: your heritage, roots, family, cherished friends, familiar places, etc. Making radical changes or moves away from what is known and safe can be very painful and difficult for you. You tend to cling and hold on to people, memories, possessions of personal or sentimental significance. Having a home, a safe haven, is very important to you.

 Section 2: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
    You are, in many ways, an eternal child. Your mind is bright, alert, curious, flexible, playful, and always eager for new experiences – and your attention span is often quite brief. You grasp ideas quickly and once your initial curiosity has been satisfied, you want to go on to something else. You crave frequent change, variety, meeting new situations and people.

Music & Sport

Music and sport meant a lot to me in my life.

I love to sing songs, especially when the lyrics sing out my feeling. It might just be a nice song for many of you when you listen but for me, it’s a story I am telling and listening.

It’s a way I express myself and I can sing it out loud without being noticed of what I am really doing. I can sing whenever I feel like and no one is there to stop me.

Sport is something takes me away from my trouble. I might like look like a person who thinks a lot but as a matter of fact, I think too much. When I am doing sport, I am concentrated on the game itself, it releases me from my doubts.

That’s why when I am troubled, I take walks, go jugging, or bike ride. It gives me some moment of peace. That I can relax and enjoy what I am doing. I remembered in Dec. 2003 when the doctor told me that I need a surgery on my right knee and I wouldn’t be able to do any sport for at least 2 months after that. I was so doomed… My performance in everything went down hill; it was a dark time to me.


I am very disappointed with myself. For my own behavior, attitude, inconsideration… I have done things which I swore not to do in my life. I got out of my head and yelled at a person, raise my voice… I was out of my head, saying stuff not even going through my brain… Now I am calm again… I can’t descript how terrible I felt for what I have done.

As much as I regret it, it wouldn’t help… I really wish there is something I could do about it. I feel so awful and disturb I am stuck in this and there is nothing I could possibly do about it.

I tried to keep myself busy so I wouldn’t think about it, I ran, I walked around, like I always do whenever I am troubled but I know in the end it will still come back to me, like always.

I read something yesterday in a Chinese philosophy book which hit me. It was stated “Don’t become a burden of your friends,” which was saying that although it’s a great thing to help friends but remember, it has to be appropriate. Even if you asking for nothing more but simply trying to help them. You could become there burden by giving them the feeling that they own you too much to even face you.

I always believe helping people it’s a great thing but now I don’t know if what I have been doing is appropriate. I think I have learned my lesson in life which proved me that my belief is wrong.

Maybe I should leave this place… For some time… To think things through… To find a new way for life…



22 years old now… Honestly, I don’t think I am any difference because of it.

I remembered that I wrote an essay before in my high school about the difference between 17 and 18. I stated that it’s not that one day which makes us more mature, more responsible because they come with time and experience. I still believe what I wrote is right. Age is just a standard measurement of society which reminds us the times we had.

Thank you all who remembered this day. Although it’s nothing important but you made it special.


Begin… End…

It’s been 7 years away from home. During this time, I have met and got to know a lot of wonderful people. But the meeting is never everlasting… There is a Chinese saying, "Whenever there is a Beginning, There will be an Ending…"

I thought I should be used to it by now. To know that things could never stay the same forever as I want to be. To know that I can’t never hold on to you guys.

So much emtions in my mind now… I am very grateful to meet many of you. It’s because you people I could of make it so far. I know that I don’t often look like I care a lot. But I do…

I can’t express with words how much you people meant to me. I can only say:

"Thank You for Being My Life"

I finally can’t stop myself from crying… Maybe this is for best… Simply let my emtion leads me. I don’t like to cry in front of people… I rather cry alone… Because I don’t want to make others sad… It’s already sad enough. I rather cheer you up while you are down than being sad with you. Nevertheless, I care… Care about how you feel…